I’m sharing the first of four organizing rules that will change the way you manage and organize your home.
Each week consider the new concept.
See how everything shifts as you drop your old beliefs and old patterns of thinking.
RULE #1 – You don’t HAVE to do anything.
Did you know this?
You do not HAVE to do a single thing!
Everything you are doing, you are CHOOSING to do.
You really are.
To realize you are CHOOSING it, changes everything.
You don’t have to feed your kids, work, pay your taxes, be kind to others, spend time organizing, send a birthday card, call your mom, lose weight, or go to church.
You can choose to IF you want to.
No more feeling guilty or playing the victim or being bitter or blaming someone else that you have to do what you do.
YOU get to decide and choose what you do.
This is empowering!
How to decide what you want to do:
- Consider a result you want in your life.
- Choose if you want to do the actions that will create that result.
- If you do, schedule them and do them.
Tell yourself the truth when you do things.
Examples of telling yourself the truth:
Instead of saying (or thinking): “I have to go through this mail.”
Say aloud: “I am choosing to go through this mail now because I WANT to eliminate paper piles.”
Instead of: “I have to organize my dresser tonight.”
Say aloud: “I choose to spend 20 minutes right now going through this pile on my dresser because I want the result of an organized bedroom.”
Instead of: “I have to make my bed… [because he never does it.]”
Say aloud: “I want to and choose to make my bed right now because of how much I enjoy how it looks when I walk in my room later! I want to do it for me.”
Instead of: “I have to clean my cat’s litter box.”
Say aloud: “I want to clean the litter box because I love my cat.”
Instead of: “I have to go to work.”
Say aloud: “I choose to go to this job because I want to pay my bills.”
Instead of: “I have to make decisions to get rid of things.”
Say aloud: “I want to get rid of 50% of my stuff so I eliminate the weight of clutter and accomplish my goals.”
Instead of: “I have to do my taxes.”
Say aloud: “I want to do my taxes because I don’t want to go to jail.”
I have a coaching client who “had” to drive her boys to and from school and to all their activities and practices. Her husband was always out of town so she was stuck with this responsibility.
Driving uses several of the hours she has available during most days. Because she had to drive them to everything, she used it as an excuse as to why she was disorganized. She felt bitter, blamed her husband, justified other behavior that was keeping her stuck and felt very unmotivated.
After coaching on this and taking the time for this concept to really sink in, she finally understood that she did NOT have to do any.single.thing.
This changed her world.
Instead, she decided what she WANTED to do.
She WANTED to drive them to school and to their activities!
She no longer blamed her husband, made snide comments about him being out of town, huffed and dreaded having to get in the car.
She reminded herself that she always WANTED to be a mom.
She wanted to have conversations and make memories with them in the car.
She wanted to show up as an emotional adult and be an example of that to her boys.
She wanted to support them and be at their activities.
She was choosing to drive every single day.
Now it’s your turn. Do this simple exercise.
Write down one thing you feel you have to do.
Imagine not doing it. What would happen?
Keep asking, “So what?”
Then, decide if you want to do it or not.
Let’s do an example: Laundry
Q. What would happen if you didn’t do the laundry?
A. Family would have no clean clothes and there would be giant piles of dirty clothes.
So what? They wouldn’t have clean clothes to wear to work or school.
So what? They would smell and people would make fun of them.
So what? They would feel bad and have low self-esteem.
So what? My family would have to find someone to help.
So what? My neighbors and my husband’s family would judge me.
So what? I would feel like a terrible person.
Then, look back at your answers. Decide if clean clothes are important to you or not.
Yes? Then decide if you want to do it yourself or delegate or hire out.
If you do it yourself, every time you wash a load of clothes…
Instead of: “I have to wash clothes. I hate laundry.”
Say aloud: “I choose to wash this load because I want my family to have clean clothes and smell amazing.”
Related Content: 8 Simple Laundry Solutions That Work
Do this with everything. You will get your power back…and blow your own mind!
Now go tell yourself the truth and CHOOSE to do the things you WANT to do.